Below, there may be spoilers. However, the film-makers themselves created the biggest spoiler, by making this crock.
Saving Private Ryan, Three Kings, Jarhead.
Great war-movies.
Act of Valor is not one of them.
Act of Valor is a poorly acted, terribly written and superficially directed series of money shots for the Navy.
It started off as a commercial for the Navy. It never became anything else. Instead of uniforms, the "actors" should be wearing khakis and rolled-up blue shirts - it was that much of an infomercial.
If you want to compare it to another war film, use this: TROPIC THUNDER. Where Tropic Thunder showed us that actors can't fight, Valor shows us what happens if soldiers go and act. It ain't pretty.
DON'T ASK, PREY TELL...
On the plus side, kudos for going full-gay with the sub-text between the two leading SEALS. The two guys seemed to spend half of the movie having romantic, golden-hour strolls through shit they've just blown up, where they talk about relationships and babies.
SWEATY TREACHEROUS JEW ALERT!!!!!
Do you think the sweaty, treacherous Jew is a good guy or a bad guy?
Mmm, clue please.
He's not Christian.
And he's foreign.
And he ain't got no standard issue crew-cut. Got to be a bad guy.
But what about the portrayal of a Muslim? Let me reframe that...
THE CONVERT TO ISLAM WITH FACIAL SCARRING....
Good guy or bad guy? Well he ain't no Christian that's for sure. And he's an ex-Ruskie.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE FULL CLICHE
A guy in the first act learns his wife is pregnant....
Now what's going to happen to him?
Is he the cursed cop on the last day on the job?
Is he a Star-Trek red-shirt?
Oh no, they can't go full-cliche can they?
Hell yeah. Full cliche and proud, ma;am!
PLOT HOLES? WE GOT 'EM BY THE SHIP LOAD
Example. Why does the guy who makes millions of dollars smuggling shit into the US, give up all that to let his one-time pal smuggle in explosives? They either get caught smuggling it in (thereby shutting down his smuggling routes) or else investigations will lead to his smuggling routes. Either way, he's unmotivated in shutting down his business.
ACTION SEQUENCES YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE
If you've never watched an Army or Navy commercial?
Or seen a Michael Bay or Tony Scott movie.
Or played a video game.
Then sure, they'll be new to you.
BUT IT'S GOT TOBACCO FILTERS
That add a nice glow to the action and to the romantic gay-subtext walk on the deck scenes.
If you like your war movies with tobacco filters, then this is the one for you.
CALLING MR BAY
I was longing for the character "subtlety" of Bay or Scott. Believe me, if you hadn't appreciated those directors before, you will do now when you see what incompetent film-making really is.
WHERE'S CHUCK?
This is the kind of movie Chuck Norris might have starred in, many wars ago. It's border line though, as he may have wanted the script rewritten to get all the way up from garbage to mediocre.
Ultimately, the worst thing that can be said about this movie though is it's boring. Really boring.
